A. Thank you dear soul for seeking assistance with your process of remembering your wholeness and returning to "innocence." Yes, a man's body is different, yet releasing psychological and emotional wounds and trauma is a similar process to what women experience and equally as effective.

Traditional talk therapy accesses through the mental body, activating the emotional body, but rarely addresses the physical warehousing of the wound (storing pain, tightness, numbness, deadness, discomfort, soreness, hardness) and its relationship to its psycho-emotional storage.

Adept counseling is essential as one aspect of returning to wholeness. And, I suggest the additional inclusion of: Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual aspects altogether, simultaneous and contemporaneous in the thereapuetic sexual-healing experience. The "container" for such an experience would be stewarded by an adept Shaman, Daka/Dakini, Priestess/Priest, Bodyworker-healer, trained and experienced in this area of sexual healing.

Here are some general guidelines for opportuning sexual healing:
Prepare the physical body for releasing blocked energies and opening to "healing" with a relaxing and sensual massage. Besides being physically relaxing and sensually pleasing, this also opens and relaxes the emotional and mental bodies, preparing them to release their hold on the wound or trauma being considered. Sensual massage is recommended because careful, therapeutic engagement of erotic energy provides both a catalyst and energy source for releasing contractions and energy blocks allowing integration of shadow aspects associated with these.

Erotic energy, therapeutically engaged, produces a feeling of “warm-aliveness,” reconnection and vibrant awareness, a feeling of well-being, and original wholeness. Physical activation of contracted "energy knots," similar to acupressure, combined with energy healing techniques of breath and visualization invite shifts and releases to occur.

The Mental body has to be ready to "move forward." The ego-personality is disengaged and given a "time-out." There's no "fixing" to do, no making something happen, just resting in being open to the opportunity for shift and change to occur. With the Mental body relaxed and allowing a shift/change to happen. The Emotion body can be open and feel safe, having confidence in the healer and the opportunity being presented. This allows the emotional power caught in the clench of embedded wounding to release and move, giving up what no longer serves and reclaiming parts of self given away to others.

Invite Spirit's presence, asking for guidance while presence is held for the higher possibility to manifest. Trusting in Spirit's guidance and invoking primal memory of original wholeness and innocence triggers unconditional loving of self and the releasing any thoughts, memories, emotions of fears, deep pain, betrayals, anger, or rage that wants to be released.

Here are some suggestions for things you can do by yourself while you search for an appropriate healer:

Give yourself Self-sessions where you "hold-space" for yourself and engage your higher-self to counsel and steward your process.
1. Open to shifting-releasing long held judgments, distinctions, and powerful emotions. Hold yourself in a blanket of love and acceptance (physically touch, embrace, caress yourself as the divine would show love to you).
2. Let whatever emotion comes up flow through you without engaging it. Only witness it, letting its waves of intensity roll through you and release.
3. Consciously send love and acceptance to what is being released: bathe it in a bowl of warm loving liquid. Breathe the consciousness of original wholeness and innocence into the location where pain, fear, anger, sorrow, shame is felt—breathing deeply and relaxing any contracted muscles.
4. Let go of body judgments. Thank your body for guarding your deep pain for so long. Once the inner self is realized and clenched woundedness is released, the outer self follows with greater health and vibrancy.

A favorite meditation of mine is called "The Inward Smile." It is performed by creating a benevolent vibration (felt inside like "smiling") and scanning the entire physical body -inner and outer- all the organs, tissues, and bones- bringing unconditional love and appreciation to each. Starting from the crown (hair, scalp, skull, brain...) down through the body greeting each location with an inward smile of appreciation and unconditional love and acceptance. This energizes and vitalizes each area, accumulating a feeling of complete healthfulness and well-being. You could "listen" while you scan and see what any "parts" have to say to you. What is their message? How can they feel more integrated and whole? Listen with your Witness, higher-self, and reassure, attend to, and honor what is received.

Another meditation is "Stepping into the Light." Where you imagine your entire self (physical-emotional-mental-etheric) standing under a bathing light of love and original wholeness descending from the creator-divine. Imagine the light both engulfs and penetrates you, activating and igniting each cell, atom, electron, dna-molecule with cosmic instructions "reprogramming" all that the light shines on, and in you, with instructions of original wholeness and optimum functioning.

Quantum Physics has found out that consciousness affects matter -and reality! I suggest regular practices of these meditations -and any others you already know to assist with the shift and change you desire.

Love and Light,
Sunyata